Craziest Thing I've Ever Done
by Linables
Summary: Rewatching AGU! and once again indulging in all kinds of crazy sinning. I couldn't get this bit of twincest out of my head, so here it is for your (hopefully) reading pleasure. If twincest isn't your thing, you might want to steer clear, though. Includes mentions of alcohol, marijuana and girl-on-girl make outs.


**Craziest Thing I've Ever Done**

By Linda/Linables

Rated: T

* * *

 _"Now that is CRAZY!"_

The catchphrase of the popular new reality show, "Craziest Thing I've Ever Done" boomed through the small apartment's living room, currently occupied by seven young adults. Several hoots and hollers from the room joined in with the chorus of screaming coming from the TV. Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, Kimi and Susie were visiting Phil and Lil at their apartment for some Friday night hanging out, and were crowded onto the one sofa, two chairs pulled from the kitchen and some stray pillows on the floor. The twins were the only ones who had an apartment off their college campus, all the others either living on campus, or in Dil's case, still with their parents. The youngest of the group was 18, and Susie, as the oldest, was 21. As such, she was the only one present who could legally buy appropriate drinks for the party without crossing national borders, and had been kind enough to do so. Well, Angelica had begrudgingly chipped in, but she had left an hour earlier to do whatever it was she was up to that weekend.

The group's states ranged from 99% sober (someone had to make the drive home) to tipsy. Kimi, given her small stature, could be dubbed a "lightweight", and thus was the furthest gone. Chuckie had been tutting over his sister's imbibing at first, protective as ever, but had relented once the Japanese girl had promised to take it easy. After two beers she was comfortably tipsy and was gigglier than usual, the alcohol having that effect on her.

Tommy, taking a break after his own second drink, grinned at the television. He looked around the room at his friends, who were also engrossed in the vapid entertainment - a perfect way to unwind after a week. Without really thinking about it, he popped a question to the group.

"Guys, what about you? What's the craziest thing you've ever done?"

"What, you don't think you know everything about us, bro?" his little brother said with a laugh from his perch on the back of the sofa. Dil was lying on his back, head and arms hanging upside down and wedged between Tommy and Chuckie.

"You? Definitely not. God knows what you get up to when I'm not around!"

Laughs rang out from all members of the group, and Dil shrugged good naturedly.

"Fine, I'll bite. But only if you go first, Tommy. Fair's fair!"

Tommy relented to the terms and pondered the question for a few moments.

"Okay, well you guys remember that girl I dated when I was sixteen?"

There were collective nods from around the room. Tommy continued.

"Her dad had an ATV, but she wasn't allowed to drive it. I really wanted some footage from this spot out in the woods, but you needed the ATV to get there, and I think it was technically private property so we weren't allowed back there. But I convinced her to take the ATV when her dad wasn't home, and I took a GoPro and we drove out to the place and I got some of the best creepy footage of my life. We almost got caught, but it was totally worth it."

Dil waved his hand dismissively, now more eager to offer his contribution.

"Kinda crazy, but listen to this. You know how I went on a school trip to Canada a few months ago?"

He flipped over onto his stomach, still draped over the back of the couch, to get a better view of his friends.

"Well, pot is legal there, right? And I was 18 so I could just walk into a store and it buy it. Nuts, huh? Anyway, I had some left over when we were coming back across the border, but I completely forgot about it since it was stashed somewhere in between my socks and underwear in my suitcase. Now we're at border control, right? Well I guess I'm lucky 'cause the people were too busy trying to figure out whether the five gallons of maple syrup I had with me was okay to bring over that they didn't bother searching anywhere else in my luggage. So long story short, I lost the maple syrup but still have the stash."

"You gave me some of that!" chimed Kimi from across the room, before slapping a hand over her mouth as if just realizing what she had said and breaking into another fit of giggles.

The others turned from Dil to her, some eyebrows being raised in amusement.

"Kimi!" Chuckie admonished. She rolled her eyes.

"It was just the one time, Chuckie! And it was only like, a tiny bit. But now that you've spoken up, what's _your_ craziest thing?"

Chuckie's freckled face took on a brilliant shade of red upon being put in the spotlight. His eyes darted around, but upon seeing no obvious escape route, he sighed and sank back into the couch cushions.

"Uh...well, you guys know that...box in my closet? The one that I told you has my diary in it when you kept asking?"

Everyone nodded. Kimi had found said box once while looking through her brother's dorm room for something he had borrowed, and since then most of the friends had asked about it. Tommy, who visited often, had even considered sneaking a peek but backed out in the end out of respect for his best friend's privacy.

"It's...not a diary. It is something you can read...or, well, mostly look at the pictures, but there are some good articles sometimes, and a good Q&A section, and, uh, um..."

"Porn, huh?"

Tommy grinned at his friend from the other side of the sofa, and Dil, still hanging over the back, noogied the redhead and laughed good heartedly. Chuckie reddened further, if such a thing was possible, and tried his best to sink into the worn down old cushions. Still, he couldn't help cracking a tiny smile once the initial embarrassment had worn off.

"So Susie, what's your story?" asked Kimi from the floor, looking up at her friend. The older girl rolled her eyes a bit, cracked a grin and set aside her beer.

"I'm glad Angelica's left, I don't think she'd want me talking about this...but you guys won't tell, right?" The rest of the group shook their heads, and Dil made a "zipping your lips" motion.

"Well, we were at a party last year at school. There was a guy there who just wouldn't quit, and when I told him to piss off he went after Angelica. She didn't want anything to do with him either, but he kept following her around and trying to buy her drinks. Eventually, we kind of came up with this crazy plan. Or it wasn't so much of a plan, more like...well, when she found me and he followed her over, we kind of decided on the spot how to get him off our backs for good. We just grabbed each other and made out for like, a full few minutes and he finally left us alone after that. Although that might have been too nice, since he probably went home with that image and had a nice night in with his hand."

Kimi high-fived her friend, and everyone else cheered. Laughs rang out through the apartment, echoed by the television, still blaring "Craziest Thing I've Ever Done". Another beer was cracked open by someone.

Tommy turned to look at Phil and Lil, who had been unusually quiet throughout everything.

"Hey, what about you guys? We haven't heard from you!"

Uncharacteristic silence. Lil absentmindedly passed the can she was holding from one hand to another, a blush creeping onto her face, which wore a troubled expression. Phil sat in similar silence, fiddling with the pop top on his can and not looking up. Tommy raised an eyebrow.

"Guys? Come on, there's nothing you can't tell us. Don't worry."

The mood took a slight dip in the serious direction. Lil finally looked up and glanced over at Phil, and they made eye contact for a few seconds. The others understood "twin language" well enough to gather that whatever Lil was thinking of involved the both of them, and before she said anything she wanted to get her brother's permission to divulge the secret. The male DeVille twin shrugged, a half-smile playing upon his features. Lil turned back to look at everyone else. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps whatever it was had just been a closely guarded secret for too long and it was weighing on her. But she definitely wanted to get something out. She took a long swig of her drink to prepare herself.

"Well, okay, uh...you see, me and Phil...Phil and I...we..." She glanced over at her twin, perhaps for continued assurance that he was still okay with this situation. He seemed relatively calm, at least compared to Lil. She cleared her throat and tried again. "We...we..."

He brother cut in to save her the struggle. "...we've slept together. Like, more than once."

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the information. Dil was the first to break the silence. "So you've got like...what's that Greek thing...an Oedipus complex?"

Chuckie, who had been quiet, piped in. "Well, technically it's more like...a Lannister complex, right? Since they're twins?"

Despite herself, Lil couldn't suppress the giggles that bubbled up, and she found herself laughing before she knew it. There was a strange euphoria in the unexpected reaction her bombshell had caused. If her friends were making lighthearted jokes, or at least statements that could be taken as jokes, it wasn't half as bad as she had feared. Lil had been prepared for a much harsher reaction, and, looking over at her brother, she suspected he had as well. But Phil joined in her laughter and finally spoke up.

"Dude, we may be weird, but we're not evil! And we definitely don't have a son who's a psycho murderous child king!"

"Or a daughter who gets poisoned right after being rescued?!" someone in the room added.

"Too soon, man, too soon!" came the answer from somewhere.

The mood had brightened significantly, and soon the whole group joined in the laughter. It was strange, how easily the information seemed to settle. Sure, some of the group were a bit weirded out, but it seemed that no one harboured any ill will towards the twins in light of the newly divulged information. Phil and Lil had always, admittedly, been a little bit weird. They were as close as close can be, and some of their hobbies had always been considered by others to be "gross". But they had continued to play in the mud and shoot milk out of their noses. Perhaps this was just something else that others couldn't ever truly understand, but everyone realized that they were in no position to judge. After all, they had asked for the craziest thing each friend had ever done, and the twins had delivered.

"So, how'd that all happen anyway?" asked Dil, who had finally joined Tommy and Chuckie on the couch.

"Yeah, not gonna go there. I've already said too much!" Lil replied, but the smile never completely left her face. Everyone else seemed okay with, even thankful for Lil's refusal to give details, and the issue was laid to rest. As the conversation continued though, Lil snuck a glance at her brother. Phil caught her eyes and grinned at her, the relief evident on his face mirroring her own. Neither twin knew exactly what to expect tomorrow when everyone had sobered up, but now the burden was significantly reduced. They could handle whatever happened. Despite her unwillingness to share with the others, Lil allowed herself a moment to recall exactly "how that all happened anyway."

* * *

Several months back, soon after they had moved into their apartment, Lil had brought home a guy. His name was Caleb, and she knew him from some of her classes. She hadn't expected Phil to react to the visitor in the way that he did, namely by narrowing his eyes, scowling and sulking off to avoid Lil for next couple of days. When Lil finally got close enough to Phil to ask him what was going on, the weirdness didn't stop. Her brother seemed somehow averse to, even hurt by her decision to bring her date home. The first conclusion Lil could draw was that Phil had somehow assumed her to be holding some kind of double standard, seeing as how he had never brought anyone home. How he could have come to that conclusion she hadn't the foggiest, but she couldn't think of anything else.

"Phil, if you're pissed because you think you can't bring girls home, that's not true! You can, I'll respect that and give you space! You live here too!"

A strangely pained look flashed across Phil's face, but was gone before Lil could truly ponder what it meant.

"That's not it! I don't want to bring girls...ugh, never mind, Lillian, leave me alone!"

Lil was baffled at first. She had thrown her hands up and dropped the issue, at least for the moment. But something was definitely bothering her twin, and it was killing her that she couldn't figure it out. They had always been as close as two people can be, and had never kept secrets from each other. Lil racked her brain for options, and the next one she stumbled upon...well, it was a long shot, but it kind of made sense. Phil surprised her by breaking out into laughter when she confronted him about her new suspicions.

" _Really_? You think I'm gay?! Lillian, come on, you know that's not true. Believe me, I'd tell you something like that! I mean, that..." his voice faltered a bit, he broke eye contact and dropped his voice a few decibels. "...that would be _easy_ , compared to this."

Then he left the room, and the apartment as well, not returning until late that night when Lil had already fallen asleep. Some time in the early morning hours, Lil's eyes fluttered open and she took a moment to register a soft sound coming from the next room. It almost sounded like crying, but Lil was taken aback by the thought. She hadn't seen or heard Phil cry in years, and he was the only other person in the house. Curious and a bit alarmed, Lil got out of bed and made her way to her brother's door. She hesitated for a moment before knocking quietly. The sounds coming from inside stopped for a few seconds, then a muffled voice was heard.

"Lil?" It sounded like Phil's face was buried in a pillow.

"Yeah, who else? What's up, are you okay?" Lil tried to be as normal as possible, not wanting to make her brother even more upset with her own confusion and irritation. When Phil didn't reply for a long while, Lil sighed and grabbed the doorknob.

"I'm coming in, Phil." she said, giving him warning before doing just that.

The male twin was indeed lying face down on his bed, wet spots visible on his pillow when he turned his head to look at his sister. Lil had a moment of hesitation, but pushed past it and walked towards her brother's bed when he gave no visible protest. She sat down on the edge of the bed by his legs and shot Phil a questioning look. His face slammed back down into the pillow.

"You weren't supposed to see me like this." said the young man. Or at least, that's what it sounded to Lil like he'd said, his voice being muffled by the fabric. She rolled her eyes.

"Phil. Come on, something is wrong with you. You've been weird...er, ever since I brought Caleb over. What the hell is up? You can tell me anything, Phil. _Please_. I want to help."

"I can't tell you. Trust me, Lil, it's better if I don't."

Lil let out an exasperated sigh. She was at her wit's end. It hurt to see her brother in such a state, especially when he flat out refused to tell her what was wrong, denying her the chance to help. There was nobody in the world, no one, who Lil cared about more than her brother, and no matter what he said she was sure she could do something. Anything. She raised a hand to stroke her brother's back, the action feeling strangely comfortable and natural. Phil tensed for a second, but relaxed before Lil could have second thoughts and withdraw her hand. So it continued, until Lil decided she would try once again to ask.

"Phil...does this have something to do with me bringing home guys? Or you bringing home girls? Or something like that?"

Phil shifted ever-so-slightly at the mention of "bringing home girls", and to Lil, that sign was clear as day. Twin's intuition, after all. She pressed on.

"It does have to do with girls, right? Come on, you can tell me. At least...tell me who she is. Maybe I can help!"

Suddenly, Phil spun over onto his back, making the bed jump up and down and startling his sister. He steeled himself and looked her straight in the eyes.

"No. It's fucked up, Lillian. I'm. Fucked. Up."

Tears glistened at the corners of Phil's eyes, but he resisted letting them fall. Lil stared at her brother, taking everything in, wondering what his words could have meant. She reached up, gently grasping Phil's arm and stroking it as she had his back. He continued to lock eyes with her. His skin was surprisingly soft. An inkling of something bubbled up inside Lil, and it took a few seconds for a complete thought to formulate. It was ridiculous, absurd, but somehow made complete sense. Phil's own hand brushed up against her arm, igniting a strange sensation. Before she could fully comprehend what she was doing, Lil acted on an impulse and surged forward. Their lips connected.

Phil tensed, startled, but once again relaxed before Lil had a chance to change her mind. Once it got started, it was like they had been kissing for ages. Heads tilted to better accommodate the other, lips sliding against the other's and fitting together surprisingly beautifully. Phil's hand wandered up into Lil's wavy brown hair, tangling in it and holding his sister to him. Lil grasped her brother's upper arm with one hand, the other clutching his bed sheets. She couldn't help herself when a small moan slipped out, and somehow, that startled her back to reality. She pulled away, immediately taking a few steps back, mouth hanging open. Phil squirmed on his bed, more desperately confused than ever now. Suddenly, he wanted to just fall through the covers, through his mattress, into the centre of the earth. What had they just done?!

"Lil," he started, worry evident in his voice. "Lil, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I shouldn't have let that happen. I should have pushed you away. Oh god, I'm sorry!"

Lil shook her head, eyes round. She raised a hand and waved it dismissively. Phil stared.

"It's not your fault. And...it's not...it's not the kiss that surprised me. It's the fact that I...liked doing it."

Now Phil was completely flummoxed. His emotions had shot across the spectrum several times within the last few minutes; from low to high to very low to hesitantly, optimistically, stratospherically high.

"R-really? You liked it?" he asked, almost not believing he had heard that right. Lil nodded nervously, with a small smile beginning to form on her face.

Suddenly, some weight hanging over the both of them felt like it had been lifted. Phil smiled widely, the twinkle returning to his eyes.

"That's pretty pervy of ya, huh Lillian? Having the hots for your twin brother?" he teased.

Lil was right back on track, sending a playful jab back at him.

"Oh, you're one to talk, huh? I heard therapist's couches are pretty comfy, you itching for one of those instead of this crappy thing?" she gestured towards his bed.

"It's not that bad! And if you don't believe me, I invite you to come back over here to see for yourself!"

So Lil did just that.

That night found the two curled up on Phil's bed together - an occasional spring poking them perhaps, but despite Lil's teasing, comfortable enough. Lil stretched out like a contented cat against her brother's big spoon, before turning in his embrace so that they faced each other. He was sure he had never seen her look as beautiful as now, with her sweat-dampened hair spilling over her eyes and her round cheeks rosy. She found his smile bewitching, and wondered idly whether her own similar features had bestowed upon her such a smile. They really shouldn't be seeing each other like this, both of them knew that. They shouldn't have enjoyed having the other's hands everywhere, feeling the other's bare skin against their own, getting as close as two people can physically get. There were a lot of "shouldn't haves" at play here. But damn it, if they could just forget those for a second and enjoy each other, just escape from the criticisms of the rest of the world, they sure as hell would do it.

* * *

Lil drifted back into the present, back to the party and her friends and her beer and the TV. Sighing quietly and smiling, she scooted a bit closer to Phil, who was sitting almost within arm's reach. When no one was looking, she let her hand drift over towards his and settle over it. Phil turned to look at her, grinning in the way she could never get enough of. Whatever it was that they had between them, no one else could ever understand. Whether it was gross, whether it was weird, whether it was anything, it didn't matter right now. What they had was theirs, and it was good enough.


End file.
